Resilience as an essential skill, as a default mode of being.
It's complicated even to pronounce the world for many of us!
When resilience webinars are used to define what resilience is with groups (including leadership teams), most often the terms are defined as flexibility, capability to adjust to difficult situations. Many also think of parables used in common parlances, such as the ability to “live on ice” or “to bend like a reed that can withstand storms and not break in two.”
These approaches usually have two elements in common. One is survival and the other is reactivity. That is, something bad is happening on a scale ranging from uncomfortable to gigantic, which must somehow be overcome, so we need to react quickly so that we can restore the original good, pleasant, satisfactory condition as soon as possible. The more resilient we are, the sooner we can do that.
So far, that's fine. Or maybe not?
How many and how many trainings have we learned that we can only endure the survivor mode for hours or hours to sooner or later devour us. And reactivity is associated with less control and a slower pace. Now, on top of that, we’ve got a global gigantic problem around our necks that has been going on slowly for a year, and who knows how long it will last and what long-term, lasting changes it will cause. What is the real resilience we need in a situation like this?
e approach it from the perspective of positive psychology, we get the answer, even to it in an interpretation that does not deny the above definitions but goes much further than them. In this view, resilience is not a reaction, but a permanent or different way of existing in the world, such a default presence where it is quite natural that things do not go easily, that one challenge comes after another, that we are constantly outside of our comfort zone. . We get so used to it that if we don’t have some issues to solve, we tend to go after the difficulties ourselves - if life just “don’t throw us a good pair”. If we look around a bit, we all know people like that. Or maybe we just knew ourselves?
What is the secret weapon in the possession of truly resilient people in this sense? How can they create in themselves the strength and courage needed for such a presence? The answer is surprisingly simple, but all the more difficult to accomplish: and this is nothing more than an adventure. The resilient person is able to turn any challenge into an adventure so that instead of the debilitating energies of the torment of struggle, the energies of positive excitement and open curiosity accompanying the adventure flow through. It continuously collects positive energy even in the most difficult conditions, so there is always plenty to offset the negative. There is no exhaustion, but there are more experiences and lessons.
So what is real resilience? Not just survival, but continuous growth. A life lived with the excitement of adventure. Because let’s face it - otherwise it’s not worth it.
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Graduated from ELTE Faculty of Arts, studied at Sorbonne University, Paris. Certified in Positive Psychology by Barbara Fredrickson in 2015, and by...
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